But
51'42", 2016

Two years ago I made a short film with the main character running as the opening scene. For some reason I love that scene a lot, yet the later scenes and the story development weren’t as good as this scene in my point of view. I was thinking if I could take this scene out and make it stand alone as an individual work. As I remember, for this scene which is less than one minute in the short film, it took at least an hour to film (I feel like it was several hours though) and required the main character to keep running. The process constant retaking of the shots involved constant disapproval of myself or would also be related to me not having a grasp of what I actually wanted. Instead of editing the NG parts together, I decided to just let all those clips stay together, they weren’t chosen two years ago in my short film. They were edited out because I without they were not good enough for my film and because of the time limit of the film that I had to edit them for the sake of making them as a part of a short film. That, they are within a structure and ought not to occupy too much time in the total duration. Opening shouldn’t take too much time as the main focus should be on the plot, I thought, while I didn’t think it was a wrong decision either. While this time, they are all going to stay because I chose to film them at that time, I keep repeating similar shots, demanding the actress to repeat running, I was distracted sometimes, and these are all part of the process I chose to eliminate in that short film. I don’t want to use the cliché saying that different shots has its own unique feeling and different things for us to discover. I’d prefer saying that because I chose to take them at that time and I would like to review this constant process of retaking because of dissatisfaction.
 

What am I dissatisfied of? The acting? Maybe, at the beginning but the way she runs was very nice already after a few shots. The camera movement? The composition? Because I felt insecure for what I took? I could be waiting for new possibilities that I didn’t know through constant trial? I could not tell by now either. Yet, this processing of saying no, thinking that this is not the case, thinking that this is not good enough, thinking that it is not well justified… is happening all the time, like doing this version of the work.


 

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